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Alan Garner

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I teach these skills because I once needed to learn them- and nobody was there to help me. I had no friends, was not at all socially confident, was wandering around Europe after having dropped out of UCLA because of loneliness and depression.

One day I stumbled upon an article about some universities which were teaching conversation skills to groups like men who never date, women who have no friends, and couples who seldom talk to each other. After learning these skills, the men, women and couples all did considerably better.

I was intrigued, and made it a point to learn these skills upon my return. Much to my amazement, they worked! It was as though I'd been trying to drink soup with a fork or cut a steak with a spoon- the wrong tools. Once I had the right tools, the right skills, things went considerably smoother.

My life improved so dramatically, I decided to dedicate myself to teaching these skills to others. I finished UCLA and went to a master's program at the University of Oregon that focused on teaching social skills.

After I graduated, I returned to California, got a job teaching speech at a junior college, and devoted the rest of my time to teaching these skills to students at community service and university extension programs throughout the state. I also began training others to teach these skills and began working on Conversationally Speaking, the book you now have in your hands- or in your Kindle.

There's a special chapter there- Chapter 12- that I want to draw your attention to. In it, I attempt to summarize what Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Aaron Beck, the modern founders of cognitive therapy, teach about becoming less shy and more confident. I'm especially interested that you read that chapter- and proud that both Drs. were kind enough to endorse this book.

It's now many years later and I and others have taught these skills all over the world. Conversationally Speaking has become the most popular book ever written for teaching social skills- with almost 1 million copies sold. Foreign editions have sprouted up with strange names like Talk Language and Communiceren and Samtaleteknik.

I'm 67 years old now and mostly a writer. There's talk of my doing a new 4th edition, though I think the one you've got in your hands is quite adequate. I do hope you enjoy this book and practice the skills I teach in it. Being able to teach you was always my dream.

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Alan Garner

Alan Garner

Books from Alan Garner

Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness

Talk Language: How To Use Conversation for Profit and Pleasure

Lifeskills for Adult Children

The Lifeskills for Adult Children Workbook

It's O.K. to Say No to Drugs

50 Ways to Meet Your Love…in Thailand