The Mad Earl's Homecoming

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This edition is out of print.

Fazgood, the Mad Earl of Weiquant, the slayer of the Abomination and the Third-Best-Mortal–and-Palpable Thief in the World, has developed an epic craving for moosecrab. The obstacle: moosecrab is only found in Harmonium, the city of the Earl’s birth, and the city that exiled him on pain of prison and maiming. Fazgood thought, No problem.

Despite the Earl’s daily entreaties to several gods and contemplations of Who Would Like Him Dead, things get complicated. An ingenious army officer finds and petitions the Earl to aid his love affair with the wife of a powerful general. That same general has a secret that could destroy Harmonium.

A boss in Harmonium’s underworld hunts Fazgood for his own dire reason.

The Earl left himself a note to eat the moosecrab with the most painful condiment known, Lava-God-Vengeance Relish -- a note he doesn’t remember writing. He discovers the moosecrab is a magical means to remember his true motive: to kill the crime boss responsible for his exile.

To get his meal, Fazgood has the help of two worthy associates: his capable sometimes-bodyguard Calzjha, who can change sexes at will; and his weasel familiar Warren .

Standing in his way is Harmonium, a city with races of sorcerous gas bubbles, sensual ambulatory plants, and giant virus assassins.

In short, before he can enjoy his moosecrab, all he has to do is save the city from destruction, confound the general, and defeat organized crime. Can he do it?

Is he crazy enough to try?

Of course he is. Why do you think they call him “The Mad Earl?”