Every man, and everyone who loves a man, should read this book. The Will to Change carries a revolution in its pages. bell hooks argues with fierce eloquence about how we socialize men to numb their emotions, to only express anger and rage. She conveys honest compassion by contending that we must socialize everyone to honor male pain so that men will treat others with loving kindness, lest they forever repress their feelings to live up to the awful standards of toxic masculinity. One of the seve...

This book has answered almost every question I've ever had about men and why they are the way they are. It has helped restore my faith in men as a sex. Instead of just pointing out the injustices of patriarchy, Hooks explains, step by step, exactly how men are socialized to be violent, and given misguided notions about what it means to be 'male.' For the first time, I was introduced to the idea that men suffer from patriarchy even as they are privileged by it. Because of Hooks, I've been inspire...

I have mixed feelings about this book.This is the second book from bell hooks I have read. The first, All About Love, was one of the most impactful and revolutionary books I’ve ever experienced. After seeing the title The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, I immediately purchased a copy, excited to read more from an author who seemed to possess so much wisdom.Let’s start with The Good: hooks presents a scathing critique of patriarchy and outlines the ways in which it harms men, from emo...

This book absolutely changed my life. How often do you get to say that? Even better, it was a gift from one of my daughters (who was then surprised that I read it!)It told me more about myself, my upbringing, and my place in the world than I could have imagined. If this were required reading for every member of modern society, the world would be a more habitable place. It could literally end war…It's not easy, but neither is life. Women and men will both gain new insight into how we are all perp...

I have profound respect for bell hooks. She is and will probably always be one of the most clear minded and insightful feminist theorists for years to come. Her works and lectures can be both mind blowing and humbling. And a book like this is important because men need a better understanding of their place in the movement as allies and we need to be reminded at times that they can and should be better. That being said, it was clear that this book was going to be far more likely to appeal to a ma...

When I developed my feminist sensibilities in the 1990s, it was bell hooks who was first to validate not only my place as a feminist man but to ardently argue for my space as a comrade in feminist work. It was going to take feminist women and feminist men collaborating together in order to do the work so desperately needed.Ever since then, bell hooks has been a huge part in my growth as a feminist, teacher, and man. And since the publication of The Will to Change in 2004, I've probably returned

This is a profound book that I will now list as one of the most life-changing I have ever read. Its singular message is that patriarchy harms men almost as much as it harms women (though in different ways). Feminism is not women working against men, but women and men who value love working against men and women who value domination.I haven't loved the previous hooks books I've read, even though I agreed with them, because I didn't find her writing style clear or elegant enough. But this one reso...

I was surprised at this book. I was looking for a book that I could hold up to someone's face and say: "look--I'm right and you're wrong!" But it wasn't the case. bell hooks is really is a complex writer who challenges everybody. This book is not just for men who want to look deeply into themselves and see how Patriarchy effects and privileges their existence, but it also explains why men have so much less depth of emotions. It also forces women to see how we uphold patriarchy just as much as me...

Important and original. I appreciate how much space hooks spends on quoting and citing other authors (especially psychotherapists, which made me happy); it's the mark of a great thinker who isn't afraid to give credit where credit is due. This is one of the rare books on masculinity that addresses the topic with sensitivity and also without blaming women or feminism for all of the problems.My two main criticisms are:1) hooks seems very gender-essentialist. She continually expresses her arguments...

Wow. It feels inadequate to write a review of this book because for me, reading it was profoundly life-changing. It forced to me to recharacterize my entire childhood and experience of gender.So I'll just say that it's worth reading for anyone, regardless of gender, who cares about feminism or is interested in making change in Western culture.

I love and respect bell hooks, but this book was a disappointment. It takes a huge step away from From Margin to Center, in which hooks writes about male suffering under patriarchy that “Feminist activists should acknowledge that hurt… It does not erase or lesson male responsibility for supporting and perpetuating their power under patriarchy to exploit and oppress women in a manner far more grievous than the serious psychological stress and emotional pain caused by male conforming to rigid sexi...

bell hooks defines this project as an attempt to love men enough to understand how patriarchy affects them, and understand how their pain can help them transform and challenge patriarchy. For me it was a profound experience reading this because it touched on so many aspects of my life as a male, from childhood, to school, to sex and relationships, to friendships, etc. It allowed me to see old memories in new ways, and understand that my feelings of pain, confusion and shame were a result of the

I am disappointed with this book-- not least because the author is one who many of my friends have admired for years. While I generally agree with her premise, she does not represent it well. Insightful criticism of white male patriarchy is quickly supplanted by ridiculous arguments which undermine her case.Harry Potter as a prototypical example of white male warmongering?Facile claims that all males harbor killing rage within them because they are all infected with patriarchical thinking?Please...

This book changed my life. Everyone on Earth should read it. A feminist book about alleviating the burden of men seems inconceivable to feminism's many detractors but inside this book is an answer to all the loneliness, heartache and angry emotions that men feel. It provides a solution that isn't tamping them down in silence or being more rigorous with your rage. There is so much care and compassion inside that it truly transformed the way I think about myself and the choices I make. It strikes

What a human being bell hooks is. Despite being a female, she pierced my depressed and troubled soul fraught with self-inflicted wounds from masculinity. Every chapter was a journey with different aspects of myself, and I often put the book down to ruminate on her words and wisdom. She lays bare, clear for anybody to see, the contradictions of masculinity and patriarchy, and how they harm men and women. Above of all, it is the severance of men from their emotional self that harms society, that c...

I honestly do not know how to talk about bell hooks. This is only the second book by her that I've read, and my reaction to the first one, Feminism is for Everybody, wasn't a favourable one. I was naive and approached it with all sorts of wrong expectations and honestly, the book wasn't palatable. But I've watched countless interviews of her over the years, because she has such a soothing voice, it's almost as if she is cooing even when she's taking someone down (like that one interview in which...

I first heard of this book on an episode of the podcast Pass The Mic in 2020. One of the hosts Tyler Burns highly and passionately recommended that Black men read this book and a group of us did in the Black Men Read book club. bell hooks teaches us in this book that patriarchy is a problem. For men its starts when we are boys and are told to not express our emotions, "be a man", be tough, etc. What that teaches men is to bottle up our emotions, but hooks says that when boys/men do this the end

Wow, the amount of times I started, stopped and restarted this book I didn’t think I’d ever finish it.The first couple of chapters from 1-5 triggered me repeatedly. It’s not complicated to say why, but it is! There’s something about looking into and attempting to understand the fluctuating emotional state of men and patriarchy that is uncomfortable and yet simultaneously necessary. I always turn to bell hooks when I’m looking for internal peace around certain topics and she always offers up the

I have complicated feelings about this book. I really strongly agreed with parts of it, but there were also parts that completely missed the mark for me. I wonder if some of the gap between myself and the author is generational. The men that have been present throughout my life are not nearly so callus or emotionally blocked off as the ones described in the book. It also emphasized spirituality and the soul too much for my taste, and I felt that those aspects strongly undermined the arguments in...

hooks has a way of rejecting the ideas of what masculinity has meant over the millennia to encompass it in a domain that is much more realistic and humanly, enabling men and women alike to love and know men better, and in turn, love them better.