Mirror, Mirror: When Self-Love Undermines Your Relationship

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I, me, myself, you are mine! Sound familiar? Narcissism, or excessive self-love, is the current plague of relationships – but it is barely understood. It is not simply being selfish. Your partner or lover may be largely unaware of how self-centred the he or she is in a relationship. You can talk forever and nothing seems to change. Conflict becomes more reactive. Emotional needs seem to escalate perhaps with the parado of increasing withdrawal. Love making can be tender, even ecstatic, but with no real connection. And gradually an edge of menace or even abuse appears.

Maybe you have read books about relationships but your issues are different. You have tried everything but you are more and more unhappy. Then ths book may help. Dr Stevens describes nine types of narcissism: Craver, Special Lover, Power Broker, Body Shaper, Rager, Trickster, Fantasy Maker, Martyr, and Rescuer. This is an important book that breaks new ground in theory and practice. The way forward is not by simplistic formulas, but by understanding the unique dynamics of how narcissistic relationships work. There is hope.

Dr Bruce A. Stevens is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice, and is currently the course convener for the Master of Clinical Psychology and Doctorate of Clinical Psychology programs at the University of Canberra. He has also written the popular Regaining Intimacy and his latest book, The Ghosts that Haunt Romantic Relationships, is also available for digital purchase via this website.