Star Truck And The Captain

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Jim T. Klack, once a Star Cruiser Captain. Why is he now driving a Star Truck? --------The Big Nosed Judge Said, “Jim T. Klack Front and center please, and how do you plead?”----- That trail was held after my getting drunk on duty, they said I could no longer be a Star-Cruiser captain, or be in the, exploration division. And could no longer have any contact with the natives, of developing worlds. And they said I couldn’t be driving that type of Star ship. ----- Even though that space truck was faster than greased lightning we still had some problems with the live cargo. All that intimate company, they had with each other produced too many offspring’s. It was sadly my job to practice natural selection on them. Sort of like that evolution guy said; only it wasn’t all that natural. When the nasty little pigs started to overrun the space truck, I would open the outer hatch and jettison a few. Yeah it was a hated thing to do it, but I couldn’t reach the controls to steer the damn truck. There were just too many of them. If we zoomed past a delivery point, the company would hold me responsible. So I did, have to get control. ------They say an owl can revolve its head completely around, with no ill effects. Had it ever been possible, for a man to revolve his head around in a few complete circles, without his head falling off? So looking for an answer, I probed his mind. And my first suspicions were now confirmed, he was indeed dead. Supposedly he couldn’t hold his liquor, very well. And it was; a lucky break for him too, now he didn’t have to worry about getting beaten, for divulging the company secrets. Luckily for me, he had told me enough to let me know how to work the transfer machine, on the space truck. Now with that piece of information, I was getting closer to realizing my new dream. That dream was, me becoming king, of my own animal planet, in outer space. It now somehow, seemed like the right thing to do.------ Being around the Hogs was affecting my personality some, but not a lot. Even though, being a collage grad, my speech was deteriorating. I started to say things like “damn Straight Dude”, instead of “Yes sir that’s correct”. And my table manners were different too. One day found me tearing apart my wooden clothes closet, to take the lumber out. With a little hammering, and some sawing, my project was finished. I had built myself a Hog trough to eat from. No more mister nice guy for me. And even though, it was required by company policy, there was no more bathing, and White Shirt. In place of the bath tub, was built a wallowing tub. Now caked with mud and loving every minute of it. Yes, I was picking up the habits of the Swine more and more every day. The thought of being clean and neat now caused revulsion in my soul.