The 12 Days of Christmas An Off-Worlders Guide

4.5/5 ( ratings)

12 off-worlders work at their own embassies on Earth. Understanding humans continues to be a problem.
A study group must be the right solution.
Until a wacky human instructor assigns a silly Christmas song for homework. Each off-worlder must interpret a verse and present their findings to the group.
A heartwarming collection of connected stories. Readers who love humorous science fiction need to pick this one up today!

** Full Disclosure: I was an ARC reader for, and received an ARC of, this story for review purposes. The author requested a review but made no conditions for it. I am writing this review based solely on my enjoyment of this story in particular, and the author's writing overall. **

This truly is an exceptional story!
From the very beginning of this fascinating tale, it was obvious that author Linda Jordan had created a wonderful take on aliens meeting in Seattle!
She obviously did exceptional research and was very creative about each of the presents given on each of the 12 days of Christmas. The weekly group meeting was to bring the various Unity members of the multiverse to meet and learn about each other.
It was arranged and coordinated by the earthling Lula, who was usually late, wore a green ribbon in her hair.
Earth had designed a system to identify genders. The color green for female, orange for male and blue for none of your business. Females wore the color on ribbons, males on clips or pins for those beings who were color blind. The blue color was worn with a chain.
The main premise of this captivating tale is an assignment for each of the mostly off-world members to create a presentation for each of the gifts given on the 12 days!
Assignments are as follows:

A Partridge in a Pear Tree was assigned to Niida from Cassio had four legs and four arms and, as all Cassians, was an herbivore.
Two Turtle Doves was given to Pyranz from Ruplovia where they do not eat or use plants and are offended by those who do. Ruplovians had six star-shaped feet and a long wide green tube opening at the top.
Three French Hens was assigned to Martha from Gassian had colored fur that would change color with her mood, was three-legged and had a very long tail.
Four Calling Birds went to Schooos Gal Mantobiane de Forgemalla from the caves of Ossia lived solely on gases. He seemed to be made of [adjustable]flames and wore a round suit of a black material with a clear helmet-like to protect himself and other beings.
Five Golden Rings was given to Kleep from Tantoan. One being who appears as three . “It”, accepted with no insult, contain all three genders. One controls sight, another sound, another movement. Since we are so intimately connected, we ALL die if one does.
Six Geese a-Laying: Renata/Jolie the Duveilian had two heads that silently shared thoughts and feelings. As well muscled as an Earth body builder, they also had a tentacle on each hip. A hint of chocolate they emitted indicated their love for that export from Earth.
Seven Swans a-Swimming for Daisy from Catalpa changed gender at will and had four arms, a gender system ranging from male and female and androgynes and neuters. They changed genders depending on what suits their lives at the time.
Eight Maids a-Milking assigned to Asoona from Tolpia where they have three genders that they choose when they’re young: female, male and neuter. Any relationship they have MUST contain one of each gender. They are very romantic!
Nine Ladies Dancing went to Squip, from Setagea. She was reptilian, green and had feelers on top of her bulbous head.
Ten Lords a-Leaping ended up being PERFECT for Magwab from Sartala. Magwab was a nine-foot tall humanoid with large black eyes, white skin on his face, a ruff of fur around the neck, a white and black striped body and a long tail.

Eleven Pipers Piping was the assignment of The Meazza: Glitter, Blueberry, Tinkerbell, Mush and Shoe were one 5-part “Nest” of black beetle-like beings with hot-pink wings. The Nest normally changed names daily.
Twelve Drummers Drumming was given to Vert from Camassa. Camassans use fronds to communicate, get all the nutrients they needed from photosynthesis, but could eat. Earthlings usually thought they looked like ferns.
You will be amazed at Vert’s presentation!