M.Love: a memoir

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I've lived a full life. There's no experience I haven't had. No rock left unturned. There's no question, no curiosity, and no regret. There's just this one giant piece of the puzzle that's missing. Will I ever marry? Will I ever have children? Will I die without ever having experienced these gifts? There's no silencing this biological clock of mine. My ovaries are practically screaming tick-tock motherfucker! Searching for my person has been a wild, fun, beautiful, heart-wrenching part of my journey that I just can't seem to get right. Not because I'm fundamentally fucked up or broken , but because relationships are messy-they force us to uncover the parts of ourselves that maybe we try to hide behind the facade of a society-pleasing smile no matter how much we might be hurting inside. Being vulnerable in a romantic relationship usually means that at some point all of your ugly shit is going to come bubbling up to the surface, and all you can hope for is that the person standing beside you has the compassion and patience that it takes to see you for all of your glory, your guts, and your grace, and to choose to keep loving you-all of you-not just the pretty parts. Recognizing fully that there's really no such thing as one true reality, this book is based on my perception of events that shaped me into the woman I am now. I'm sure some of the men I'm writing about here, whose names have been changed, will remember things differently and feel hurt or even attacked by the way I've portrayed them. We all have our stories, our truths. These are mine. This is a sharing of my journey through the ups and downs of romantic and non-romantic love. My guess is that some of these stories will be remarkably similar to yours. We are all connected. Our stories connect us. Our feelings, hopes, dreams, and aspirations connect us to a universal source-that is, love. So no matter who you are, or where you find yourself along this road of life, you might see a bit of yourself in me and my experiences. You are not alone in your search for true love. And you're certainly not alone in wondering whether such a thing even exists.