I Never Arkansas It Coming

3.4/5 ( ratings)

Brett Sargent isn't adapting to life in Arkansas very well. A native New Yorker, she's been transported to the urban metropolis of Little Falls via the Witness Protection Program after testifying against her former high school lab partner, now a Mafia up-and-comer. Despite her new name, new house, and new career as a bookstore owner, she can’t find a decent Thai restaurant—or anyone who wants to buy books. Her only companion is a happy-go-lucky guard dog named Dude.

While moonlighting as a detective to pay the rent, Brett stumbles upon a case that’s too close for comfort. Elaine Scrubbs and her smokin’ hot redneck brother, Jake, hire her to find Elaine’s missing husband. But when Hank Scrubbs turns up dead with a Mafia calling card stabbed to his chest, Brett knows she's next on their hit list.

As Brett digs deeper into Hank’s past, she learns that Elaine and Jake aren’t who they claim to be. They forge family photos, can’t agree on the way their parents died, and are on a first-name basis with the Mafia’s best hit man. To stay alive and outwit the killer, Brett and her faithful guard dog, Dude, tangle with a liar, a truck driver, a flesh-eating Mafia lawyer, a one-eyed repairman, a shotgun-wielding racist, a vindictive Kroger clerk, a Bible thumper, and a shoplifter named Rick James who just might be the best friend Brett’s been waiting for.

If Brett stays alive, she just might find there's something worth living for after all.