Oh. Oh. My. Gosh. Too simple to be so true, and surely not perfect for everyone, but goodness, perfect for me. For the first time in five blinking decades I've realized that I am actually a 'rebel' and not an 'obliger.' I was such a good girl as a child, and I've never done anything truly reckless as one would think of when one thinks of ppl who are rebellious, and I've always taken pretty good care of my household and family... but my personality is rebel, and that means nobody, not even me, ca...

I have sorta mixed feelings about the author. I have read and liked her other happiness/habit books. She has some good insights and is definitely interesting to read. There's something fulfilling about following someone else's personal journey and choosing tidbits that can help your life. But in this book, I think she goes too far. In her other books, she's kinda been saying, "I did some research and I tried this stuff out myself. Here's how it worked and what you might try." This book, though,

This book does not present solid evidence and I would not recommend as an introduction to psychology of personalities. This is a personality-types book: Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, Rebel. The book is a little different than previous Rubin books- Better than Before, Happier at Home, The Happiness Project, Forty Ways to Look at JFK - in that it looks at the psychology of these broad personality types and provides strengths and weaknesses of each. Rubin argues these personalities are nature not

I am a fan of Gretchen Rubin and her podcast. I am sad to say that this book was really disappointing. Her "Four Tendencies" was a cute idea in her book Better Than Before and I was hoping she would do actual research and collect real evidence to validate her theory. Sadly, this book is just a rehashing of her opinions and insights with no evidence or justification. Gretchen Rubin, perhaps, has not heard of confirmation bias? She only uses her own brilliant insights as proof of her tendencies. H...

I didn't find this to be as revelatory as it seems to be for so many. To use Rubin's own language this book is definitely written by an Upholder. Full of little boxes to sort everyone into, and you must fit into a box. That is Upholder logic, if I understand it correctly. Tidy little rules for everything, and if you follow those rules everything in your life (and everyone else's) will be so much better. Personally, I don't think people are quite so simple, neat or orderly. I saw pieces of myself...

There are numerous personality tests available, that rate your personality in one or more dimensions. I like the Myers Briggs test, that gauge your personality in four dimensions (I am an INTP type). This book bring to light a totally different dimension; the dimension of expectations. That is to say, do you respond to internal expectations, and do you respond to external expectations. So, there are four basic types:Respond to internal and external expectations: UpholderRespond to internal but n...

How do you handle expectations?That is the premise for this book (my first by Rubin). Ultimately, Rubin has tagged four tendencies on how each person responds to inner and outer expectations. Those expectations you put on yourself vs those placed on you from someone else (ie work, family, etc.). I am an obliger with an upholder wing. Meaning that I will always do outer expectations, but have a hard time getting things accomplished for myself. I need accountability. This was a perfect book to sta...

Awful book with no scientific merit. A slap in the face to real researchers. Research 101...what evidence for the reliability and validity?

A very simplistic view, rather poor content, no actual research or evidence is provided for this operation of dividing all mankind in 4 pretty boxes. Sloppy writing also, with parts rehashed from Better than before, the author's previous book. What would you think of somebody who categorizes herself as upholder, and goes on to define 3 other categories, all of whom are missing something (either the ability to answer positively to external motivation, or to internal one, or to both of them) compa...

This book was terrible for so many reasons. I could write an entire thesis on everything that’s wrong with it, but this is a review website so I’ll just list a few of the things I had issues with. 1. The writing itself was terrible. It felt like she only had enough to say to fill about 25-30 pages, so she spent the rest of the time repeating things she’s already said. She also contradicted herself on numerous occasions, thereby further destroying her credibility. This credibility was already on

LOVED this book!!! I'm a Gretchen Rubin super fan. I've read all her books & listen to her podcast. I was also lucky enough to meet her on the book tour for this book in September 2017. Thanks to the awesome independent bookstore Warwick's in La Jolla. Gretchen briefly introduced the Four Tendencies in her previous book about habits, BETTER THAN BEFORE. This book takes it to a new level and explains each tendency in detail, analyzes the pros and cons, how the tendencies work together and how to

I snagged an ARC from my job at a public library. I knew a little bit about the four Tendencies before starting this book—mostly, that I am totally an Upholder—but not too much. I mostly enjoyed this book and the way it helps us both define others and give tips for living, working, and playing with them. Some of the examples didn't resonate with me, but overall, this is a good book for anyone who wants to know more about themselves and how to get the best out of themselves and others.

Rubin herself says that she was clerking for a Supreme Court justice when she suddenly decided she wanted to be a writer. Not a researcher. A writer. And it shows she didn’t want to be a researcher. That would be fine, unless you decide to come up with four personality types into which all of humanity can be divided, and then come up with a quiz and write a book based around your “framework,” simply after having a self-described revelatory and insightful conversation with a friend.No information...