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I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I found it interesting to read about emotional immaturity in general (Gibson presents 4 types of emotional immaturity). It allows the reader to connect the upbringing of others with the irrational ways they sometimes behave (e.g. extreme people pleasing in others, or - a connection Gibson suggests herself: why people can get into cults). Obviously, emotional immaturity in parents can be extremely distressing and damaging for their children (and the emotional immatu...
This book was really useful to put my relationship with my parents (both EI. one volatile/one passive) in perspective and offered good tips for my own development and interactions with them. Unlike most psychology books, the author doesn’t add a lot of fluff so it is direct and practical.
Literary Life Reading Challenge: An Obscure BookI didn't realize going into this book that it was a sequel, but it stood pretty well on its own. I did learn quite a bit but it wasn't very polished and some of the exercises were a little too vague for me. Still, I don't regret reading it.
Interesting learnings and reflections. The only caveat is Authors lack of consideration for cultural differences. What she describes as emotionally immature parenting is considered normal and status quo in Asian culture. I struggle with this since what she described as “immature” has been the norm all my life as well as the lives of friends and family with similar cultural upbringings. Not saying she’s wrong but seems a pretty big statement and huge oversight. Nevertheless this is an interesting...
"Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents" offers practical advice for anyone in a relationship with an emotionally immature person. It's an important book for children, parents, friends, co-workers, spouses, and neighbors. In fact, I learned numerous tips that have helped me develop better boundaries with others in my life, and I am adapting tips that will help me build stronger relationships with the people in my life. I also saw myself in many of the descriptions of emotionally immature p...
Could also be titled "Have you decided to blame your parents for everything? Read this book!"This book was incredibly helpful though, even beyond the parental context. Recognizing emotionally immature behavior in peers, managers, anyone really - is important. Once you recognize these patterns of behavior and how you've reacted to them in the past, this book helps you set effective boundaries.
Insightful, full of practical actionable steps to take for standing up for yourself in difficult one-sided relationships with parents. The thing I most appreciated is how humane it is by not pathologizing or demonizing the emotionally immature party. Instead the focus is on creating a strong loving relationship with yourself in order to disrupt the cycle of emotional manipulation and abuse.
Emotional immaturity is a far more useful and less pathologizing framework than a lot of what I've found in the pop emotional abuse literature so far. Not everyone who treats people badly is a psychopath, and I think Gibson does an excellent job explaining what might drive emotionally immature - and sometimes abusive - behavior, without excusing it or minimizing the impacts.Also, Recovering from EI Parents had by far the most direct, concrete advice and tactics I've seen for coping with and prot...
Whoa. This explains a lot. Also, this book is plain helpful for dealing with anyone who has emotionally immature people in your life. Some call these(emotionally coercive acts) manipulation, but it’s more like survival instincts on their part, doing whatever makes them feel in control in the moment, regardless of you. They stick to comfortable conversation topics for them, etc. They define reality based on how it feels to them. This is called affective realism. We all do this. When we feel good,...
Highly recommend for anyone who identifies with the title. Very practical advice and empowering language. Will definitely read again from time to time as a refresher.
This is a supplemental guide that supports author Lindsay C. Gibson’s other book Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents. That being said, this book totally stands alone on it’s own merits. So go ahead and start here if you’re so inclined. I’m like a Lindsay C. Gibson fan boy. I’m amazed by her empathy, breath of knowledge, originality and skillful presentation. It’s real live practical magic. Her books are LOADED with wisdom, insight and actually extremely useful and spot on advice on ho...
While the first half of the book was great in providing understanding as to why your parent may be the way they are, I felt the second half of the book was lacking. An assumption is made that the child wants to maintain a relationship with the parent. It felt like all the work is still being put on the child but with coping mechanisms. I had been hoping for more on direction to distance yourself from an EI parent, while maintaining a relationship with other family members. This was not the book
While Dr Gibson's 1st book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, put into words & defined what Emotionally Immature parents are, this book answered the question I had after reading that 1st book: But what do I DO / How do you deal with EI Parents without losing a piece of your soul? This book helps answer that question.My 1 quibble: This book is mainly geared towards those folks who want to have an active relationship w/ their EI Parents. I am not one of those people. I was hoping to
“As an adult, you might be better off investing in a deeper relationship with yourself, while lowering your expectations for the kind of relationships you can have with others.” Disclaimer: People have different takeaways from self help books, or books that delve deeper into the subject of mental health. It is a personal journey that adapts to your style and not the other way around. It can be triggering and stir up unwanted emotions in you. Do not believe everything that is written or told
5/5 This book made me stare blankly at a wall, bending over with a long exhale out of pure RELIEF that my feelings are valid, that my experiences were real and that my stupid behaviour sometimes has actually a reason behind it. I cannot stress enough how important it is for EVERYBODY and I mean EVERYBODY to read it. Emotional immaturity is probably the worst sickness in our society. If you are looking to heal yourself and not screw up your children like your parents did you, this book is for you...
Must-read. Great follow-up to her first book that delves deeper into the topic. I personally found this book more helpful than the first though I highly recommend both.
Absolute life saverClear, concise descriptions of behaviours seen in people with emotional immaturity. To know that these are real and not imagined behaviours saved my sanity. I’m taking this knowledge forward to help to mould my relationships to ones that I can exist in, but not be consumed by. Absolutely brilliant.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book, particularly to those whose childhoods included induced guilt or shame. I found so much useful information in this book. The author is wonderfully matter-of-fact yet kind: "Here's what's going on, here's what you may have had to deal with, here's many of the ways you might feel, there's no shame in feeling any of these things, and here's some compassionate support and strategies for moving forward." The book deals both with emotionally immature (EI) parents
While “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” (Gibson’s first book) goes into introducing the concept and the types of parents that are likely to be EI and validating the mental and emotional experience of what it was like for the adult child to grow up with the EI parents, this sequel goes into greater depth about the relationship dynamics that make having a mature healthy relationship (at the very least, for yourself) with EI parents challenging. I like how Gibson does a fine balancin...
This book came at the right time, right place, right moment from me and it taught me nitty gritty and effective ways of challenging the difficulties I had struggled with all my life. It works for ALL emotionally immature relationships and it will help you clock them and not let you fall into their traps ever again.This has been hands down the best self-help book I’ve ever laid eyes on and I have read, owned, bought, borrowed a lot over 30 (!) thus far. Do yourself the favour and read this. Espec...