As he did in WHO NOT HOW, Dr. Benjamin Hardy shares one of Dan Sullivan’s simple yet profound teachings that until now has been known only to his Strategic Coach clients: unsuccessful people focus on “The Gap,” but successful people focus on “The Gain.”

"[T]his one simple concept is a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. Everything that psychologists know about how to create a high-functioning and successful person can be achieved using The GAP and the GAIN."- Dr. Benjamin Hardy

Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal," a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the GAP." However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the GAIN."

That is where the GAP and the GAIN concept comes in. It was developed by legendary entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan and is based on his work with tens of thousands of successful entrepreneurs. When Dan's coaching clients periodically take stock of all that they've accomplished-both personally and professionally-they are often shocked at how much they have actually achieved. They weren't able to appreciate their progress because no matter how much they were getting done, they were usually measuring themselves against their ideals or goals.

In this book you will learn that measuring your current self vs. your former self has enormous psychological benefits. And that's really the key to this deceptively simple yet multi-layered concept that will have you feeling good, feeling grateful, and feeling like you are making progress even when times are tough, which will in turn bolster motivation, confidence, and future success.

If you're finding that happiness eludes you no matter how much you've achieved, then learning this easy mindset shift will set you on a life-changing path to greater fulfillment and success.

Reader Reviews

Mehrsa

(2/5)

Apr 07, 2025

This book should have been a tweet. I am angry it was written and angry that so many people seem to love it.

Tom Brand

(5/5)

I loved this book. I started practicing right away and noticed how often I find my self in the gap and just how liberating and powerful it is to transition into the gain. Here's a perfect example. I had been out working in the yard, mowing, trimming, cleaning things up enjoying this audio book and thinking how great all this advise is and that I can't wait to share it with my family and start practicing it. When I was done with my work out in the yard I came in the house to find my wife hard at

James Lovaas

“If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack” ― Benjamin HardyImagine someone that never enjoys their current situation - no matter the level of success. These folks reserve all joy and happiness for the moment when they achieve their goal…or worse yet, their ideal. Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy would say that these individuals live in the gap: the space between what they want and what they have. For many, this may not sound so b...

B.J. Fogg

This book has helped me be happier. I found it so important that I made this book required reading in my Stanford course.

Latasha

(3/5)

This book could’ve been a longform article. While I did enjoy it, it felt incredibly repetitive. Also, tons of privilege and religious white male perspectives, so it’s not necessarily “great for everyone.” However, I do recommend reading the first couple chapters if you need some perspective on the gap and the gain.

Paul Bard

Who Not How, Dr Hardy's previous book, was great but sprawling. This book is great and tightly written, and deep, and broad, and heart felt. Virtually every sentence adds value. Virtually every chapter increases added value. It's a leap forward in Hardy's writing skill. It is much better than his great last book.As to the content, Dan Sullivan has produced an indispensable insight that is simple, universal, and generative - that is, his insight is an idea that generates more insights by itself.I...

Jim Hohl

Generally interesting content but nothing really new. [spoilers below]There was one interesting idea that I will try: They recommend ending the day with journaling to capture 3 wins for the day and to plan out 3 wins for the next day. Otherwise, not super original and if you have done any personal development work, you will not be surprised by any of the content. It's a good reminder, I guess.The interviews with Dan Sullivan in the audio version were just so-so - they were better in Who Not How

Denise

A very quick yet insightful read.1. The Book in 3 sentences:People tend to be unhappy not because they have not achieved anything but because they're measuring incorrectly. We need 4 key things: start, progress, goals, and ideals. We need to learn how to set measurable goals (not ideas) and measure backwards (gains). 2. Impressions:a. How I discovered it:I just came across one random YouTube video about how a shift in mindset made his life better.b. Who should read it:- People who feel unaccompl...

ShaLee Snyder

I didn’t know I needed this book until I started it. I am a recovering perfectionist and thought I was getting in a better headspace but this book changed everything. My life has been changed for the better and I will never measure myself against ideals again. I need to listen to this book yearly at least!

Oumaïma (readwithmima)

(4/5)

3.75 rounded up.The concept of the gap and the gain in very interesting. The ebook is short and well written. Nothing bad here, but nothing mind blowing either if you have been reading about goals and personal development for a while.

Arundhati

3.5/5 starsCome January every year, I develop a short-lived fascination with self-help books. This year, I picked up this one by Ben Hardy, a blogger on psychology/organization I am a fan of. What makes this book different was that it does not talk about "things one can do". Rather, it addresses a way to shift our mindset in terms of success, or indeed in every sphere of life. The concept of measuring progress backwards, was unique and relevant. However, I chose to rate it 3.5 stars since I beli...

Sharon Moser Lewis

This book was recommended to a group of us and I really can see a change in myself from listening to the concepts and applying them to both my business and myself. Many of us are the harshest critics of ourselves recognizing what we didn't get finished or how we haven't achieved what we set out as goals for ourselves. This book brought out the concept of always measure backwards, reflect on successes and even take a minute to enjoy them. I know my goals have specific dates and I haven't always a...

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The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

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